If I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
Well I'd buy a Yew house (I would buy a Yew house)
And if I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
I'd buy new furniture for my house (Maybe a nice pentagram or an abbatoir)
And if I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
Well I'd buy me a nightmare (a nice and violent pony for me)
And if I had a million gold coins 
I'd buy Collooooooooiiiid

If I had a million gold coins
I'd build a fish tank near the stairs
If I had a million gold coins
Maybe buy some neon purple hair
Maybe I could put a bunch of potion kegs in there somewhere
You know we could just, like, go in my house you know, and hang out.  
And there'd be vendors with weapons and stuff waiting for us... pre-poisoned weapons and things.  They sell pre-poisoned weapons but not pre-trapped pouches.
Well can you blame them?
Uh, yeah!

If I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
I'd PK a miner (But not a real miner, that's cruel)
And if I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
I'd buy an exotic pet (Yep, like a llama... or a dragon)
And if I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
Well I'd buy you Ivanzypher's remains (Ooh all them REAL AMERICAN HERO bones)
And if I had a million gold coins 
I'd buy Collooooooooiiiid

If I had a million gold coins
I wouldn't have to walk to the porch
If I had a million gold coins
I'd pop myself a gate cuz it costs more
If I had a million gold coins
I wouldn't have to play my tamer
But I would play my tamer, in fact I'd play more!
And buy really expensive potions to take with him
Yeah, all the fancies... GBoom potions!
Ooh...

If I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
Well I'd PK a newbie (but not a real BC, that's cruel)
And if I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
Well I'd buy shipwreck art (or some pillows and an old barrel)
If I had a million gold coins (If I had a million gold coins)
Well I'd buy you a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
And If I had a million gold coins
I'd buy Collooooooooiiiid


If I had a million gold coins
If I had a million gold coins
If I had a million gold coins
And if I had a million gold coins
If I had a million gooooooold coooooooins
I'd be rich.